Tough Love

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go…” Psalm 32:8 NKJV

Some things are harder to forgive than others.  Some people are harder to forgive than others.  Sometimes the things we go through are not what God wants for us. God knows the pain you feel and has seen the tears you’ve cried for yourself. God is for you not against you.  So does God want us to forgive the people who have caused us all the pain?  As someone sore from your wounds, this is a tricky idea to get your head around.  It may feel like to forgive them is almost like excusing what  they’ve done to you.  But that’s not how forgiveness works at all.  History’s biggest statement of forgiveness was said by an innocent man hanging from a torture instrument, “Father forgive them…they do not know what they are doing” the innocent one cried.  Jesus wasn’t excusing what they’d done to Him but He was praying forgiveness over their actions.  Pretty heavenly stuff I’m sure you agree.  Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending the stuff never happened.  Forgiveness is about freeing yourself from the hurt.  This isn’t easy medicine to swallow.  Perhaps, you feel you could never forgive this particular offence.  Well don’t be too hard on yourself, perhaps your first step isn’t to forgive, perhaps your first move is all about crying on God’s shoulder.

“…forgive them for they know not what they are doing.”  But what if they did know what they were doing to you?  What if they weren’t even sorry?  Are you still supposed to forgive them even then; and if you do, does that mean you’re a doormat?  True forgiveness isn’t easy.  It takes a lot of courage and a lot of time. In a way it’s not about them, it’s more about you.  Forgiveness is about you freeing yourself from what has been done to you.  Forgiveness is part of your healing.  Forgiveness is your pathway to a future free of self destruction.

Remember, by forgiving you’re not excusing, you’re releasing your pain.  But where do you start?  How can you forgive when all you feel is hatred?  Firstly, acknowledge that ‘hatred’ is a feeling; you’re entitled to your feelings.  Forgiveness is a choice not a feeling.  Secondly, seek God on what to do with these feelings.  God’s shoulder is infinately big enough for you to cry on.  Thirdly, ask God to help you with the impossible.  Yes, by human standards forgiveness may be out of the question, seek God on it; ask Him to bring you to a place where you can forgive.  Finally, recieve the goodness of God; “Heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony” (Psalm 6:2).

Be Encouraged.